A Parody of Christmas Carols
by CherrySoda99
Summary: Yeah...it's pretty much the characters of The Outsiders singing a whole bunch of Christmas carols their way. Potentially, it could be pretty funny...
1. Jingle Bells

**A Parody of Christmas Carols**

**An Outsiders Comedy**

**Yeah, ok, I'm bored, and I decided to make a play on a whole bunch of popular Christmas songs. It's all Outsiders style...because that's the stuff I can write... Anyways, enjoy!**

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**Jingle Bells**

**ENTER: Dally, Two Bit, Soda and Pony. Soda starts singing.**

**Soda: _Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way_**

**Dally: I never got that…all the way to where?**

**Pony: Dal, it's just a song. Christmas songs rarely make sense.**

**Dally: Yeah, but I want to know where they're going, and why the heck they're taking bells with them!**

**Pony: Why should that matter though?**

**Soda: Can I finish please?**

**Two Bit: No, no me…oh, pick me. Let me do it!**

**Soda: _sighs_ Fine, go ahead.**

**Two Bit: _Oh what fun it is to go out drinking beer all day!_**

**Dally: That's not how it goes idiot!**

**Two Bit: Who asked you?**

**Dally: Do you want to take this outside, punk?**

**Two Bit: Bring it on!**

**Pony: OK! Lets finish this darn song before someone loses an eye.**

**Soda: _Dashing through the snow…_**

**Pony: Why would you dash? Why not take your time?**

**Soda: I don't know. Just the way the writer wrote it I guess. Maybe he was in a hurry or something?**

**Pony: Oh well…_In a one horse open sleigh…_**

**Two Bit: Why couldn't they use a cow or something like that?**

**Pony: Oh come on, have you ever heard of a one cow open sleigh?**

**Two Bit: No…but…oh, never mind. _Over the hills we go…_**

**Dally: Tulsa doesn't have hills.**

**Pony: Who cares?**

**Dally: _Laughing all the way_… wait…what could possibly be so funny about a horse and jingle bells?**

**Pony: Well…I don't know…what is so funny about that?**

**Soda: That's a good question…**

**Two Bit: Maybe the horse is trying to eat the jingle bells.**

Silence Two Bit: It was only a thought… 

**Soda: _Bells on bob tail ring…_what the heck is a bob tail?**

**Two Bit: Maybe a guy named Bob has a tail and bells are attached to it…**

_**Silence again.**_

**Two Bit: K, I'm just gonna stop talking.**

**Pony: Good plan…_Making spirits bright._**

**Dally: So THAT'S why they're happy. It's those bells.**

**Soda: That's it then. It's the bells. Maybe they're magical.**

**Dally: _What fun it is to laugh and sing a sleighing song tonight!_**

**Soda: Is it just me…or was that not fun. I'm not laughing, and I just sang.**

**Pony: That was so pointless. Come on guys, lets go.**

**They all leave. Two Bit stays behind.**

**Two Bit: Well...I thought it was fun...hey guys, wait for me!**

**End Scene.**

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**Is it just me, or was that ending also pointless. I couldn't think of a better way to end it...so...yea. Tell me what you think, and I'll write some more chapters later.**

**Jess**


	2. Deck the Halls

**A Parody of Christmas Carols**

**An Outsiders Comedy**

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**Deck the Halls**

**ENTER: Darry, Johnny, Steve, Pony and Soda**

**Darry: Ok you guys. It's time to put up the decorations.**

**Soda: As long as you don't make me stand on that ladder again. Pony was holding it and I almost broke my neck.**

**Pony: Did not!**

**Johnny: I'll do it if you want me to guys.**

**Steve: And I'll provide the entertainment.**

**Soda: What are you gonna do, put the lights on your head and dance around?**

**Steve: No, I'm gonna sing.**

**Darry: Oh no. _shakes head_**

**Steve: _Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa, la, la ,la ,la ,la ,la ,la ,la._**

**Johnny: Ah, guys, there's no holly.**

**Soda: _Tis the season to be jolly, fa, la, la, la, la, la ,la, la, la._**

**Johnny: I won't be jolly if I fall off this ladder.**

**Pony: _Don we now our gay apparel, fa, la ,la ,la ,la ,la, la, la ,la._**

**Johnny: Now I know why Soda didn't want to do this! Pony! Stop shaking the ladder!**

**Darry: _Troll the ancient yuletide carol, fa, la, la, la ,la, la, la, la, la._**

**Johnny: Enough with the singing guys. Worry about the lights.**

**Steve: _See the blazing yule before us, fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la._**

**Johnny: _Starts to lose his balance. _Oh, I'm gonna be blazing all right.**

**Soda: _Strike the harp and join the chorus, fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la._**

**Johnny: I'd be satisfied just to join you on the floor.**

**Pony: _Follow me in merry measure, fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la._**

**Johnny: Uh oh…guys…I'm….FALLING! _He falls._**

**Darry: _While I tell of yuletide treasure…_**

**Johnny: Wait! I've got one. Instead of fa, la…it's going to be FALL LA!**

**Steve: Wait, Johnny, did you fall off that ladder?**

**Johnny: You don't say.**

**Darry: Pony, why didn't you hold it?**

**Pony: I was holding it…it was just… the music…the singing…I got caught up.**

**Soda: Well…we may as well finish the song, thenJohnny can get back up there and…**

**Johnny: Oh no! I ain't goin' back up there. Pony can do it, since he's incapable of holding a ladder.**

**Pony: What, why me?**

**Johnny: Cause, when you fall, I'll have a perfect ending to the song…**

**Pony: What's that?**

**Johnny: Fall, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.**

**Pony: Huh?**

**Johnny: Never mind. Just climb the ladder.**

_**Pony climbs up, and as soon as he is at the top, everyone leaves.**_

**Pony: Hey guys…are you gonna leave me up here all alone? Guys? Oh well…_Deck the halls with boughs of holly…_**

_**Starts to move his hands like he's conducting an orchestra.**_

**Pony: _Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la…._**

_**Falls.**_

**Pony: (Groans) _La, la._**

**End Scene**

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**Lol, this ending made me giggle. I enjoyed it. Next up, I'm thinking of doing the 12 Days of Christmas...this should be interesting...**

**Jess**


	3. 12 Days of Christmas

A Parody of Christmas Carols

**An Outsiders Comedy**

**The 12 Days of Christmas**

OPENS ON DARRY PUTTING UP THE CHRISTMAS TREE.

**Darry: _On the first day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, a T-Shirt without the sleeves._**

ENTER SODA 

Soda: I knew you liked showing off your muscles.

**Darry: Soda! Where did you come from, and how long have you been here?**

**Soda: Long enough to hear you sing. As for where I came from, I thought mom told you about the birds and the bees?**

**Darry: Shut up, Soda.**

**Soda: Fine, fine. _On the second day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, two chocolate cakes…_**

**Darry: _And a T-Shirt without the sleeves._**

ENTER TWO BIT 

**Two Bit: What's up ya'll?**

**Soda: TB, are you here to sing too?**

**Two Bit: Um…maybe. What are we singing?**

**Darry: The 12 Days of Christmas, and you can sing number 3.**

**Two Bit: Ok…_On the third day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, three packs of beer…_**

**Soda: _Two chocolate cakes…_**

**Darry: _And a T-Shirt without the sleeves._**

ENTER STEVE 

**Steve: Ooh, can I sing number 4? I've got the perfect one!**

**Darry: Go ahead.**

**Steve: Sweet! _On the fourth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, four hot chicks…_**

**Two Bit: Wow, this beer is good…**

Soda: Better make that one chocolate cake… 

Darry: Man, do I need to work out more.

ENTER PONY

**Pony: How's it coming guys?**

**Soda: Pony, just in time…you get to sing verse five.**

**Pony: Wait…what? How did I manage that honor?**

**Two Bit: Don't ask me kid, I just got here.**

**Pony: Well…ok…um…_On the fifth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, five cheesy poems…_**

Steve: Hey girls…I'm single! 

**Two Bit: Oh man, I need more than three packs.**

**Soda: Can I have more chocolate?**

**Darry: I think that the ladies go for guys with MUSCLES Steve.**

**ENTER DALLY**

**Dally: Hey guys, you gotta hide me, I knocked off a store.**

**Steve: Hey, Dally, just in time. You get number six.**

**Dally: What the crap are you talking about?**

**Steve: The sixth verse of the 12 Days of Christmas.**

**Dally: Screw of man, I don't wanna sing no song.**

**Pony: Sounds like someone has no Christmas spirit.**

**Dally: All right, fine…_On the sixth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, six different hideouts…_**

Pony: Man, I love Robert Frost…

Steve: Yoo hoo, ladies, over here…

Two Bit: (drunk) How much alcohol is in this stuff?

Soda: (Bouncing) How much sugar is in this?

Darry: (Doing Reps) One…two…three…four…

ENTER JOHNNY

Johnny: Need any help guys?

Soda: Yeah, you can sing verse seven.

Johnny: Verse seven of what?

Pony: How many songs do you know with seven verses?

Johnny: OHHH, that one…ok…_On the seventh day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, seven sharpened switchblades…_

Dally: Hey, Johnnycake, can I have one of those switchblades?

Pony: Careful with that around my poem book…

Steve: I don't think girls go for knives…

Two Bit: Need…more…beer…

Soda: Need…more …chocolate…

Darry: These muscles will come in handy if I have to drag you both into the house because you've overdosed.

ENTER TIM

Tim: Dallas, I'm gonna kill you!

Pony: WAIT! Sing verse eight first.

Tim: Move it kid.

Pony: SING!

Tim: Ok, ok…_On the eighth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, eight nights at Bucks…_

Johnny: Ouch, I think I cut myself…

Dally: Bring it on Tim, I borrowed Johnny's blade…

Pony: You know, a lot of these poems are about love, not hate…

Steve: I like love, I also love those girls…

Two Bit: I love beer…does that count?

Soda: (Groans) I used to love chocolate, but after those two cakes, I'm not so sure…

Darry: Can't we all just be normal for once?

ENTER CHERRY

Cherry: Um…hey guys.

Steve: Ahh! It's a Soc! RUN AWAY!

Darry: Calm down moron, it's only Cherry.

Pony: Wow…Cherry…(notices everyone staring at him) um…I mean (blushes)…you can sing verse nine.

Cherry: Cool. _On the ninth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, nine pretty sunsets…_

Tim: Sunsets can't compare to parties…

Johnny: Um…Dal, can I have my blade back now?

Dally: Not yet…I'm on the lookout for the fuzz…

Pony: Hey Cherry, you wanna hear a love poem?

Steve: Hey Pony, can you hook me up with one of those man?

Two Bit: Sweet, a full six pack…

Soda: Two Bit, I think you've had enough…

Darry: The only six pack around here is going to be mine.

ENTER MARCIA

Marcia: Oh, Cherry, there you are. I was looking for you.

Cherry: Just in time, you get verse ten.

Marcia: Huh?

Cherry: It's a Greaser thing, go with it.

Marcia: Ook…_On the tenth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, ten gorgeous guys…_

Cherry: Marcia, you're taken…

Tim: Hey Marcia, I think Steve will go out with you…

Johnny: Dally! I want my blade…

Dally: Cool it man, the cops are after me…

Pony: This doesn't make sense…Nature's first green is gold…but…it just said it was green…how can it be gold…

Steve: Marcia, I will go out with you, you know…

Two Bit: Forget it Steve, she only goes out with good looking guys, remember…

Soda: Well, I guess I'm a possibility then…

Darry: Soda, I don't think that you should go out with any more girls for awhile.

ENTER RANDY

Steve: Oh no, not another one of you.

Randy: Cool it Greaseball, I'm just here to collect my woman.

Darry: Well, since you're here, you may as well sing verse eleven.

Randy: I don't think so.

Marcia: Oh come on Randy, it's not that bad.

Randy: Whatever…_On the eleventh day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, eleven painful punches…_

Marcia: But they WERE pretty cute…

Cherry: So were the sunsets…

Tim: You deserved every one of those punches…

Johnny: Good thing there were no blades allowed…

Dally: A SOC! GET HIM!

Pony: (rocking back and forth) In my happy place, in my happy place…

Steve: Run Dally Run!

Two Bit: I'll be there in a minute, I only have one beer left…

Soda: Woohoo! Fight, fight, fight…

Darry: Wait, let me put my shirt on.

ENTER BOB

Johnny: Wait! Didn't I kill you?

Bob: Uh…I am the ghost of Socs past…

Johnny: (thinks) Oh…ok.

Bob: _On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Greasers gave to me, twelve crazy verses…_

Randy: Hey, my verse was good…

Marcia: Randy, Dally's coming for you.

Cherry: Hey Pony, can I borrow that book when you're done?

Tim: I wonder if Buck is open past 2am?

Johnny: Quick, Dally, take all of the blades, I don't want them!

Dally: Sweet! Seven blades!

Pony: I don't like fights! I'm too young to die!

Steve: Girls…fight…girls…fight! This is a hard choice?

Two Bit: Okay, I'm ready…guys wait up!

Soda: Sugar is good for something…energy!

Darry: (sighs) _And a T-Shirt without the sleeves…_

Ends with people fighting, and Pony reading his book quietly in the middle of it all.

END


	4. What Child is This?

**A Parody of Christmas Carols**

**An Outsiders Comedy**

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**WHAT CHILD IS THIS**

**Opens on Soda, Pony, Darry, Steve and Two Bit in church on a Sunday morning.**

**Pony: (whispering) Can you guys please quiet down!**

**Steve: This is soooo boring though.**

**Darry: Listen up you guys, the preacher's talking.**

**(The preacher is up at the pulpit praying.)**

**Steve: Hey Soda, hand me that hymnbook.**

**(Soda hands Steve the hymnbook and Steve opens it up and immediately drops it. The preacher stops praying and looks up.)**

**Preacher: _What child is this who dropped a hymnbook and interrupted my prayer in the service?_**

**Steve: Uh…_It was me, Steve Randle, forgive me please, I was just a little bored…._**

**Darry: stands up) _This, this is why I don't take you or Soda anywhere._**

**Soda: _This, this, was not my fault, it was all him and Two Bit…_**

**Two Bit: _What lie is this, that you have told, I didn't have anything to do with it._**

**Soda: That would be a first.**

**Darry: _I'm pretty sure that we should go and never show our face again._**

**Pony: _This, this is so embarrassing. I don't think I can take it._**

**Soda: _This, this was all that Steve. I think that he should leave now._**

**Preacher: _What child was that who blamed his friend, even though he was a culprit._**

**Pony: _I'm sorry sir, it was my brother. He's really not that bad at all._**

**Soda: _This, this, is why I love my brother so very much._**

**Steve: _This, this is why, dear Pony, you bug me more than anything._**

**Preacher: Ok, may I continue please?**

**Darry: Please do.**

**(He starts praying again.)**

**Steve: (whispering) Hey Soda…**

**Soda: NO!**

**END**

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**Ok, I know this one wasn't as good. It was a request from somone, which is why it wasn't as good.**

**Jess**


End file.
